More Than I deserve 18 Fic
by Harley-Hardy01
Summary: I guess I sound very Bridget Jones there – but in a way I was her. I hadn’t ever had much luck when it came to love and I didn’t think that I would ever find a man that I trusted enough to actually be completely truthful with. Christian Kane/OC rated 'R'


_**Disclaimer - ******__This is a work of fiction; nothing in it is meant to be taken as truth in whole or in part. All O/C's belong to themselves; I do not know anyone famous in this fic and am not claiming to do so._g

**_If you are uncomfortable with strong sexual content; then please do not read_**

**_All comments are welcome and thank you for reading._**

**_This is not a Leverage fic; it is based around the real life cast of Leverage. My first Christian Kane fic; please be gentle with me lol. If you would like to read more then please leave me a comment or such THANK YOU!!!_**

_**More Than I Deserve.**_

**_Written By; Harley Mac. Date Started; 24__th__ December 2009._**

_**Dornie; Scotland;**_

_**Gemma's POV;**_

'_The sweet fragrance of Lillie's hung in the air making everything appear as if it were on a completely different plane of existence. The air was static with the love that I felt and all the times that I had ever wanted to be close enough to someone that I could be completely open with them and honest about who I was and what I could actually do. I had never thought that it would happen for me – I always thought that I would be destined to be alone – watching all of my friends find the loves of their lives and I would forever be cast as the bridesmaid but never the bride._

_I guess I sound very Bridget Jones there – but in a way I was her. I hadn't ever had much luck when it came to love and I didn't think that I would ever find a man that I trusted enough to actually be completely truthful with._

_However, that all changed when my 2 best friends insisted that I come to Amsterdam with them one weekend. We had all been working hard and had hardly managed to find the time to get together let alone hang out with one another. I had been completely desperate to meet up with them – you see my life isn't exactly filling to the brim with friends and people who adore me. In fact I only have a very few close friends whom I share my life with and as I slowly get out of the limo I realize that my circle has slowly expanded to include the man that I was about to marry._

_2 years ago; Arianna-Jade had called me in tears about having just found her husband with another woman, and not just any old skanky woman but his ex girlfriend of all people. AJ as I called her was one of my closest friends and we had met through my website – she had contacted me about designing some merchandise for her own band. I had been happy to do it because it was a huge contract for me – one that I had been dreaming about but never actually sure that I could get. We had struck up a friendship and it was one that I had come to regard as a good one and a supportive one, so I had decided to actually tell her my secret. I couldn't have really asked for a better response than the one that she had given me. There had been no sign of doubt in her face and no accusatory snarls in her voice – like I had received in the past when I had divulged to people whom I thought were my friends._

_Claire or, Nola as we knew her, was my other best friend and the one who had actually suggested that we head to Amsterdam for a long weekend. We had met through a website a few years back and she was just as important to me as AJ was. Nola was a make up artist and one that worked on major blockbuster movies or on huge rating pulling TV shows and she was amazing at what she did – you just had to look at me today to see that she was outstanding in her work. Nola and I actually met a few times before AJ and I had, mainly because Nola was actually stationed in Birmingham and I was in Scotland, which made it easier to meet up than it did with AJ who lived in America. That had made getting to know her much easier – she was always up at mine when she wasn't working because she found it so peaceful and calming, so when I had decided to tell her, she had been completely blown away at first and then she had come round, wanting to know everything about what I could do._

_The powerful hand of my Father reached into the back seat of the limo and gently helped me get to my feet. High heels and snow really don't mix so he was making sure to be careful – this was everything that I had ever imagined; I had always wanted a winter wedding._

_The trees were littered with a light scattering of pure white undisturbed snow, the ground had been cleared for me to walk to the church but it was already below freezing and the ground was icing up. My Father kept me as steady as he possibly could as my heeled shoes slipped and slid all over the place. Talk about graceful! Although all of that was a down side, the up side was that I was marrying the love of my life today; I was committing myself to love him forever and always. Nothing could stop me from getting in there and doing this. Not even a little snow storm that had started earlier this morning, threatening to ruin the entire day by stopping traffic from getting anywhere, but thankfully it had lightened up and I could see that a bright winter sun was trying to pierce the snow filled sky._

"_Daddy?" I stopped before we reached the church doors._

"_Yes pumpkin?" my Father, who had been my rock and my constant number one supporter had always been my hero – he was there when kids made fun of me in school, he would tell me that they were jealous because they were nothing like me. When my Mother walked out, after telling me that it was my fault she couldn't stay – my Father had comforted me and told me that she was just jealous that he loved me more than her._

"_Thank you,"_

_"For what?"_

"_For always being there, for giving me the best possible start in life and for allowing me to find my own way, and picking me up when I fell down,"_

"_That is what Parent's are for, sweetheart!" he smiled that tender smile that always made me feel calm and in control, "the truth is Gems; I can see how happy he makes you, I see the way you light up when you look at him and vice versa, I can see the love that he has for you in his eyes and I know that there is no one else on this planet who will take as much care of you as he will!"_

_The silent coo from a flying crow pierced through the moment that my Father and I were sharing but it was ok; all that had been needed to be said was out there in the open and as I hugged him, I knew there was only one last thing that I needed to say to him before I walked inside and headed towards the man that I was going to spend the rest of my life with, "you know that you will always be my hero right?"_

"_I know pumpkin," there was no way that he could hide the glisten of the tears in his wise old eyes, "and you know that no matter what happens, I am so proud of you and the woman that you have become,"_

_Now it was my turn to try and hide the tears that were welling in my eyes – a wedding day was one for happiness and starting on a new adventure, not actually crying and of course if I started crying, then I would undo all the amazing work that Nola had already done on me. The church was decorated in the simple style that both I and my future husband wanted – the air was full of the soft scent of flowers that were plastered and tied to the pews where our guests were sat and there he was._

_All I could see was the back of him – long golden brown hair with what looked like natural strands of blonde shining through. A muscular body that was bathed in a black tuxedo – the things that he did for me. I knew that he much preferred the informal look to the one that a wedding dictated. However, for me, he was stood there looking smart and calm in his black suit, his hair being the only thing that he had refused to tie back neatly and I couldn't blame him for that – besides, I loved his long hair, I loved the soft texture of it slipping through my fingers or the way it framed his face when he looked down at me._

_The guests were getting to their feet and turning to look at me – I hated being the centre of attention which was why we had both opted for a small and intimate wedding, only close friends and Family were invited and as I looked to the front I could see Nola and AJ standing there in their figure hugging chocolate brown satin gowns, which I had to admit looked gorgeous with the faux fur brown scarf type material that I had picked. Sat at the front were Jared, AJ's best friend and now boyfriend, and Wentworth Miller, Nola's husband. Life had never felt this good and as slowly my husband to be turned to face me – everything faded out of view…'_

Damn it! I could have kicked myself for waking up at that exact moment. My dreams had been becoming more and more vivid these days. Usually my gift didn't work that way – it was always waking hours that I had my visions but that one had felt so completely real that I had a feeling that it would most definitely be something that would come true.

Who was my future husband?

Did I know him already?

If not, when would I meet him?

So many questions were running through my head that I almost missed the sound of the phone ringing loudly. Cujo my black Labrador gazed up at me lazily as if to tell me that I should answer that before he woke up completely. Struggling out of the sofa where I had been taking my nap, I answered the ringing telephone.

"Hello?"

"Gemma?" the male voice sounded shattered and on edge.

"Yeah is that you Jared?" I asked.

Jared Padalecki was the best friend of my friend AJ – they had been friends for years and years. From what my friend had told me – she and Jared had been friends with benefits for a long time but it had ended when she had met her husband Argyle Goolsby, the guitarist for the band Blitzkid. Plus from what I had been able to learn from Jared; he had fallen helplessly in love with AJ but she had been so wrapped up in Argyle that she couldn't see it or hear what was being said to her.

"Yeah it's me, can you talk?" he asked me.

"Sure, what's up? Is everything ok?" I asked suddenly having a very bad feeling about why he was calling me.

Staring out of the huge bay window of my home, I was greeted to the most beautiful sight in the world – rolling acres of green grass stretching for miles; the surrounding area was built below rolls of mountains that I swore reached the sky because you could see the clouds skimming the tips. I really, wouldn't want to live in any other part of the world. Scotland was my home; it always had been and always would be – ever since my Dad moved us here from Georgia USA.

I knew that I had been adopted when I was about 6 months old, my Mom and Dad couldn't have children of their own so they had been on the waiting list for years. My Father was a high priced attorney and my Mother worked for the government apparently. I couldn't really remember all that much about her because she had walked out on us when I was still young claiming that she couldn't deal with the 'gift' that I had.

"Actually there is something that I have to tell you," his voice was always so quiet and calming, "about an hour ago AJ walked in on Argyle and his ex kissing!"

"WHAT?!"

"Yeah, he said that it was the first time but I don't believe that anymore than what AJ does,"

"Is she ok? No wait what the Hell am I talking about of course she isn't ok – uhm maybe I should come out?"

"Yeah I actually think that would be a good idea,"

I couldn't believe it – that lying, scum sucking piece of shit – he had told AJ vehemently that just because his ex was managing the band, that didn't mean that there was anything going on with them. From the beginning he had made AJ feel like she was stupid for even thinking that anything could happen until she had finally just let it go and believed that he loved her and would never cheat on her.

I hadn't seen this coming either – I had believed him when he said that he adored AJ and would never do anything to risk losing her. What a sack of shit!

"Ok let me go call Nola and then the airport and I will let you know when we'll be in yeah?"

"Thanks Gems," he said sounding confused and alone.

Jared was a great guy – he was funny, he was sweet and gentle. I had never found that I couldn't get along with him. It was just in his nature to let things slide off his back and deal with the problems as and when they came.

"Not a problem big man," I replied, thinking about his pure height and how he seemed to tower over me when I stood next to him.

We said our quick goodbyes and then I hung up. Prowling back and forth for a few moments, I couldn't help but think about AJ; what she must be going through, what she must be feeling and as if I were channelling her very soul, I could feel the undeniable crush of grief and pain taking over. Sometimes this could happen with my 'gift' – especially if I was connected to a person. I would be able to feel the way they were feeling – my Father said that it was empathic and that was bound to happen because of the way I cared about people. Before I knew it, I was on my knees and sobbing out in pain from what my friend was feeling. The pain, the anguish, the anger, the loss, the denial and the pure hatred that she felt was consuming me and it took me a further few moments to manage to come back to myself and get to my feet.

"Wow Cujo that was intense," I said talking to my dog who was fussing around me and trying to lick my face for comfort. "Ok I need to call Nola," he barked once as if to agree with me then sauntered off to the kitchen where his food and water were lying out for him.

Sometimes I wondered why I had been given this 'gift' or 'gifts' was the more appropriate term. There were so many things that I could do, so many things that were beyond a Human capability of understanding yet my friends had accepted it without question and that made them the most important people in my life because other than my Father, no one had ever accepted me or my unnatural abilities. And just like that the dream came back to me – it had been set 2 years in the future; we had all gone to Amsterdam because we wanted to cheer AJ up! Was my dream coming true? Was this a new part of my 'gifts'? Great one more thing to contend with – as if I didn't already have enough.

Quickly I dialled Nola's number while I padded silently through to the kitchen to grab myself some water. "Hello?" she answered on the 4th ring.

"Hey it's me,"

"Hey honey, is everything ok?" she asked me. Nola was the natural worrier – more like the big sister type. Whenever we needed something, she would be there and she would do her damndest to help us.

"Not really, I just got a call from Jared,"

"What about?"

"AJ just found Argyle with his ex," I admitted honestly.

I still couldn't believe it – the man had always proclaimed to love AJ to death, that he would never allow anything to come between them let alone do anything that would actually risk loosing her. Now he had gone and betrayed her in the worst possible way. I had been there and now that I had felt her pain; I knew exactly what she was going through.

"In what way?"

"In a kissing way,"

"WHAT?!" she had the exact same response that I had, had. That bastard! I just couldn't believe that he had done this to her.

"Yep and I am worried about her Nola – I just, I got off the phone and the pain that she is feeling just slammed into me and before I knew it, I was on the floor sobbing out in pain,"

"When we going out there?" she asked me instantly without me even having to ask her to come.

Together, the 3 of us were as tight as sisters, we never fought, sure we had tiny little disagreements but it was nothing that couldn't be fixed with a sorry and a hug. We were always talking to one another and there was nothing that we couldn't tell one another, so I was more than thankful to Jared for calling me straight away.

"Well I told Jared that I'd talk to you first and then call the airport and then call him back to let him know,"

"I have an idea,"

"Oh yeah – what's that?" I asked moving back to the front room and staring out at the property that I owned. I was truly blessed to have the things that I did – especially when I had been younger and hadn't fully understood my 'gift' – I thought that maybe I was going a little crazy but now that I was older and had learned to control it, I knew that I had earned everything last thing that I had.

"Why don't we all head out to Amsterdam?" she suggested.

"What's in Amsterdam?" I asked.

"Nothing spectacular but it's away from the states, which is probably what AJ could use about now. I know that I wouldn't want to be in the same country as that lying sack of shit if it were me,"

Nola had been with Wentworth Miller since the first season of Prison Break – they had met on set, spent hours together as Nola applied Went's tattoos and they had just sort of got together. From what they had told me; there had been no talk about it, there had been no official date – it had just happened through hanging out and getting to know one another and it couldn't have been better than what it had been. But that didn't mean that she would put up with shit from him – in fact I knew that if it had been him caught with his tongue down some slapper's throat, then Nola would have kicked his ass all over the place.

"That's a good idea actually – let me call Jared back and tell him our plan and see what he thinks yeah?"

"Ok call me back ASAP!"

"Will do honey, love ya,"

"Love ya too," she smiled into her words then we both hung up.

By the time I had called Jared back, explained our plan to him and then called Nola back and gotten the plane tickets sorted and a hotel booked, 3 hours had passed and I was feeling the tug of my hungry stomach beginning to echo around the room.

Long gone was the thought of the dream/vision that I had, had. Replaced with the need to help my friend and make sure that she got through this as easily as possible. If I had anything to do with it, she would be divorcing that son of a bitch as soon as possible. But in the end; it had to be her decision I knew that and I was ok with that. I just hoped that she would make the right one.

Little did I know that this weekend would mark the meeting of my future husband!

**R/N - If anyone is interested in joining my Christian Kane site please follow the link from my profile page and jump right in; I am looking for staff members to help run the board also; please let me know by pm if you would like to be considered for that :D love you guys.**

**xoxoxo**


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